0:07in hi s
0:10I'm Geoffrey O'Brien welcome to the last event of the hallway Poetry Series
0:15I'm this is the last hollow event
0:18but it's also its own special stand-alone
0:22thing on it's not strictly speaking part the series
0:26it's central to the series intention and source
0:29and tonight we'll hear from the 2009 roberta see how a lecture on the
0:33practice of poetry
0:35arianna Ryan's in recognition for significant creative work
0:39and to express gratitude for her attention to our undergraduate poets
0:43semester
0:44an attention I should add that didn't stay in the classroom but followed her
0:48home
0:49because I hear that she had a second ghost
0:52or shadow workshop that convened at her house for
0:56students who can be accommodated by the workshops and thank you
0:59doubly I'm before I go any further though I really wanna thank
1:04Charlie will share my cock curator for but his visible and invisible work
1:08and all our undergraduate interns just go cocks Cameron Jackson Steve Lance
1:13box on Rashidi and a special thanks to Rebecca Treadwell
1:18I'm who extended magically
1:21and rationalize the publicity for the readings to thank you very much for that
1:25cuz worker hapless I M
1:29alright now I just need to give you a little better
1:32boilerplate about I'm troopers say however
1:36lectureship I'm proceeding
1:39arianna are other Holloway poets such as
1:43Michael Palmer yousef coming ya Cup and Carson
1:46I see that Lisa robertson's here to build a couple years ago
1:50and are on Robert house and had genuine this unique lectureship came into
1:56existence in 1981
1:57through a bequest given to the University as part of the estate of
2:01Roberta C Holloway
2:02who received her BA degree in English with honors from UC Berkeley in 1923
2:08and her PhD in English here only 23 years later
2:12in 1945 as required by the terms of the bequest
2:17the committee supervising the lectureship was chaired by just seven
2:20miles for as long as she was an active faculty member
2:23just a few miles who died in 1995 at the age of 74
2:27was the first woman to be tenured in Berkeley's English department
2:30perhaps more important she was a nationally recognized in much honored
2:34poet whose work now has canonical status
2:37in the history of American poetry the 20th century its customary therefore to
2:42begin this about with the miles upon which I will now do
2:45scalding the deer's
2:48there where the clerks at the zenith
2:52and the figures their winter type clouds over the winter
2:56there were summer type clouds over the summer figures
3:00and to speak to each there was a way the same
3:03I went up to the clerk if the media and said see me
3:07in Knox and serve one kind or another under winter Sun
3:11and see safely to this dinner how I welter
3:15under blaming all is mine but I like it
3:18by each gesture towards the other or one
3:21so beset said the clerks have been a deer and is in it is the turn to their
3:26own accounting
3:27about afternoon they were busy have busy where their
3:31the required waiting in line for the Sun to go down over the eastern figures
3:36and the moon to rise over the western traders moving from plane to plane
3:41bright
3:44its term to arianna even though biographical information
3:50seems to be distributed throughout Ariana's work very carefully
3:54I'm going to get it out of the way up front so we can move from her life and
3:58her you serve it
3:59as lurk substance arianna Ryan's is the author of the Cal
4:03which one the Alberta prize and was published by France books in 2006
4:07and occurred to the ER which came out from a llamar ditions in 2007
4:12a third volume of poetry mercury
4:15will be forthcoming from France in the near future
4:18arianna also has two forthcoming translation projects
4:23my heart laid bare the intimate writings about their
4:26which will be published by Mila Mar later this spring and a collection to
4:31interviews and documents
4:32personally this real called little black book days and nights have an anarchist
4:37or which will come out from Summit taxed
4:40this fall runs was also commissioned last year by the foundry theater
4:45to write a play which resulted in telephone 3 actor
4:49about technologies mediations address based on %uh Patel run else
4:54the telephone book telephone had a sold-out run at the Cherry Lane Theatre
4:58in New York this past February
5:00and this partial be performing in the works in process here is that the
5:04Guggenheim Museum in New York
5:06there has been writing on art there have been photographic essays have not see
5:10architecture
5:11she keeps very busy but to turn to the poetry
5:17arianna Ryan's is in love with the second person
5:21the penultimate poem in the Cal is simply called you
5:25and also manages to end on that word
5:28its brief enough like most moments I've got a dress
5:31that I can read it to you you
5:35a night so thick a suet rub sent into it slaps
5:39because I've got to feel that the speakers going to become
5:43alive darning the event
5:46she said I looked up and was assuaged
5:50I carried to my mouth the ointment up the crowd that it's is to move
5:54that it sees to pass over me I found a secret docked amid these players are
5:58there
5:59and then they left off their cocoa trees their complications
6:03the beauty makes me feel it really happened the sky had stars in it the
6:07greater
6:08like calories upon the world energy of the night
6:12I have paraded in herds that were mine own in order to become you
6:18through a secret docked that lies support both the body's interior
6:22and city infrastructure the poem finds a way inside the monument ality
6:27at the active addressing another and makes it intimate
6:31temporary and an imposing
6:34this finding is disdainful embarrassment
6:38unafraid to deploy the word beauty but mindful of the effort
6:42the heaving up have the self she would put her
6:45that this staining embarrassment requires
6:49you have to honor the cosmic scale have the space have a dress
6:52you can walk contracting at from stars2 calories
6:55night standards bringing metaphors back to local
6:59earth as the speaker comes alive an attempt to get near its address a
7:05despite the becoming small and becoming bodily
7:08that ethical address seems to require this power
7:12arianna second Booker to the ER expands you seen
7:15beyond the discrete short poem to become everything
7:19a book-length love problem its title refers both to a cheese
7:24into the Regal attribute of courage so it's tempting to say it's a book about
7:29the courage to be cheesy
7:31while speaking of love
7:34but this is not right nor enough
7:38here's a passage from the first page
7:42the other night when I couldn't sleep next to you and I said I wanted to cry
7:47and you said I should and I look down and breathe and then I did crime
7:50when you try to touch me and you did and you try to kiss me and you sort of did
7:55and I was so scared that I love you and you don't love me how I felt stupid
7:59when I put my pants on and I felt stupid when I put my shirt on
8:03and I felt stupid when I went to the other room to get my book
8:06but where's Perry by Stefan Zweig
8:10those ants fall down the left margin
8:14in a biblical parrot access have been getting
8:17but instead spawning generations we get the successive
8:21perfectly awkward gestures early relationship
8:25both moving and courting banality
8:28the passage captures the pleasure and terror courtship as the same thing
8:32a not yet knowing how to read the you
8:36and it's no accident a comes on the first page of car do you know
8:40when we readers don't yet know how to read it's you we are still in the other
8:44night
8:45don't know what kind of poetry casual speech
8:49coursing with form addresses and health us
8:53the poem will spend the rest of itself teaching us to read this you and I have
8:58a dress
8:59sometimes making the necessary mistake thinking it can keep
9:03what dimensions are into the beloved without those mentions floating into
9:08exemplar day
9:10but then admitting that they do quote
9:13now that I am NOT addressing you but the you have poetry
9:18I'm probably doing something horrible and destructive
9:22but this I is the eye of poetry and should be able to do more
9:26when I can do
9:29kar de Leon has an ironic faith in this double dies capacity
9:35it disdains the contemporary embarrassment or even career risk
9:39associated with writing love poetry long after the troubadours with their linking
9:43rhymes & manicure repetitions
9:45where the Petrarch ins with their paradoxes a fire and ice
9:49have all gone still but why should love poetry be embarrassing
9:54there's been a lot of that and it is heavily encumbered with trope in
9:58procedure
9:59but there's been a lot of love and is similarly
10:02encumbered the
10:06the passage I just quoted addresses many of the possible reasons for contemporary
10:11embarrassment that we could propose
10:13first a legitimate concern given to us by theory and literary criticism that to
10:17bring the beloved and its island body
10:19into representation is to perform a blazing to render a
10:23in both senses a quote doing that is destructive
10:28and reductive encasing the you and its parts
10:31invisible quotation marks a cam protest
10:35and then there's also a shame that one is speaking of private pleasure
10:39or even disappointment while iraq burns
10:42citizens serve life sentences for nonviolent offenses
10:46proposition 8 passes and the bees disappear
10:50the passages quote something horrible and destructive
10:53vaguely but intensely vaguely accommodates all those some things to
10:59there's a shame in other words about sheltering the eye and the dow in a
11:02space Priya
11:03everywhere else is deprecated Shin within quotation marks
11:07now thought if not as a former imprisonment at the addressee
11:11but as an illegitimate isolation about speaker in Spokane
11:15from the history of the world which is written as mark says
11:19in letters applied and fire
11:22runs has provisional answers for these fears
11:26you let them in you'd quote do more
11:29than destructive doing you let the beloved speak in his own words
11:34whether the the words of his love letters or from the gmail account you've
11:37broken into
11:39where his bad novel you let him respond to address
11:43with an address even if we understand that that response is still managed and
11:48selected
11:49rendered you represent his body not just by shining eyes
11:54but my genitals and secretions and you don't do this to shock
11:58you do it over and over again until it's a local norm
12:02happening with the real frequency of encounter these parts enjoy
12:06during courtship you do it until both for you
12:10and the you of poetry have messy bodies
12:14then you name the book after a cheese a processed product
12:18far from the body they gave its substance and the bodies that then
12:21worked at
12:22title it after a food that comes to us from far away with that specific labor
12:27history a recoverable
12:29but mention within the poems body that quote she's too
12:32has a heart and you pick a cheese that also offers us to a king
12:36eager to invade the Middle East and you save him in your poem
12:40quote some sources suggest it was a desire to be memorialized in verse
12:45by troubadours that attracted him to the Crusades
12:49then after documenting Richard the Lionheart seal around killing both Arabs
12:53and Jews
12:55you go back to reading your lover's email without permission
12:59ultimately you keep giving the reader that other you who can't help being
13:03addressed
13:05the choice to be embarrassed by love poetry
13:08or to have other really feelings reinstated there
13:12and then towards the end of the book you model all that for her
13:16quote all that medieval love poetry with its military metaphors
13:20the woman as the fortress the RNC's gallant nights
13:25maybe long ago things were two solid and now we live in ether
13:29attack sentiments
13:32her to the ER is not only a love poem but a poetic serve reminder
13:37quote his cock's not even have a man he's not him either and we are into
13:41anything
13:43it reminds us that in both poetry in instrumental speech
13:46is is a transitive verb
13:49capable of turning a he into him and a him into something horrible and
13:54destructive
13:56and I'm grammatical conversion a subject into object
13:59easy to frown upon but too common in speech
14:03to dismiss is improper to the page
14:06the poem also reminds us that love can be in
14:09intransitive verb quote I love when racine makes federal say
14:15I love instead of I love you
14:18it can stop short of a predicate in the act itself
14:22the you missing but implied in the quote darning
14:26at the event runs described in that poem called you from the Cal
14:30with darned their like render both demanding and a curse
14:36ago on for so long about occurred early on even though arianna may not read from
14:40it tonight
14:41because its particular set of risks and solutions to the problem of how to speak
14:46to you
14:47how to speak as and I in the time I've YouTube and MySpace
14:51and an army of one condenses what drives her through all her various projects
14:58as she put it during a Q&A here last year while talking about using the first
15:02person
15:03quote the idea of addressing someone requires a great deal of force
15:07you have to keep yourself up I think by heave arianna means find some way
15:13to reject left and shot her intimate pronouns
15:18into the formal fielder who Eric without there being entire
15:21entirely overwhelmed so that the you and I
15:25of poetry its reader and collective subject
15:28would not be the direct object about burt Ising
15:31could be soft reflexive rather than accusative
15:35and it would be okay to say the simplest things
15:38my heart was beating or I see your face
15:42without ironi but in the phone knowledge of their history
15:45and means a production for Ryan's
15:49address is this humble and unavoidable saying if things and persons
15:54again even or especially if we already quote know what we did
15:59because quote stating them is like reinstating them
16:04please join me in welcoming arianna right
16:23km
16:24that was breathtaking I don't
16:27am very honored to be here and I wanna think I love you for the
16:31hospitality you've shown me and this the spring
16:35it's been really incredible I was terrified
16:38to come here which I'm sure you can imagine
16:41you must've been terrified taken and
16:45but I'm I'm learning so much in its
16:48really been extraordinary so thank you I'm
16:51I wanna dedicate this to my students who've been
16:54I'm who are brilliant and you have been very like for parent and Thane and
16:59strong
17:00am in in the way that they handle
17:03everything I mean everything them
17:08I am mouth
17:1410 inches from my it says I can't measure that
17:19now I'm gonna be tormented
17:22ten-inches' ten-inches' and so
17:29I thought it started at peace said do even alia
17:32an honor my student they don't write two finale I
17:40that I have written a lot and hmm
17:44this is from like the pre castro days somebody left her alone for the
17:51prescribed did
17:53time they got into bed his little cock trembled loosen its condom
17:57the dinghy a body was going to be had a cock in it you could uncork
18:01in what the bilge the thick cock was the real cock it had important details
18:06president was to content yourself with what it contained future it was hard to
18:10understand the present
18:11as having been less dismaying that it is for into these Porsche I mean to create
18:16in arts tardiness these were the days
18:19a clear pattern on it a few hairs the music was the correct thing
18:24something understood itself in her and made her shudder
18:27she should let that go the wicker air
18:30held at the moon and the wicker air saw her the wicker air
18:34held at the man in the wicker air saw her
18:37purity pissing and Tina Turner air mu
18:40like a puppy in the ground it gets longer the bigger thing you put in it
18:44and it gets wider gets wider it knows the wall of sound
18:48follows pitfalls the wall of sound files
18:52I don't know that
18:56up
19:03so I'm told that there's not going to be a Q&A session in this reading
19:08on but I wanted to extend the opportunity
19:11Talib you too on ask me a question
19:15if if some thing arises for you
19:18I think it would be nice if you could hold it until like the and if the palm
19:22but if you really want to call out like as I'm reading
19:25I it it would make me feel more comfortable so it really
19:29on if if something arises for you that is just burning that you wanna know you
19:34can ask me
19:35and doesn't need necessarily to relate to what I'm
19:38now reading or even doing perhaps we could
19:41talk about current events or plans for the future
19:46I am I'm gonna read a little bit have
19:54occurred early on then am then a few other things and then something new
20:00and hopefully by the time the new thing comes you'll be so
20:03like catatonic that what really register
20:07am
20:11when we lay down in Venice on the patio at the restaurant that was closed in hid
20:14behind the chairs and tables
20:16with the night people passing by it was lovely you fucked me
20:20you came somewhere on me I had a painful zit on my upper lip
20:23and we're covered in dust from the stanza Venice a photograph to Broome and
20:28indecipherable monograms
20:29on the walls %uh Venice you told me your story
20:32the story made me tired and sad I've had enough instead
20:36we're outside 10 Giorgio Maggiore a can I finish the story
20:40he said later okay said I wanted to show that I could be hospitable
20:46and generous person it was bright and hot
20:49discussing interpersonal relations makes me tired
20:52and feel like an asshole I really like to you
20:57the day after we first had sex I had a soft and complicated feeling
21:01I put a condom on you and me to get off effect me without it and I like to you
21:06I remember what you look like as you ended your things the condom state on my
21:10bedside table for the length over stay in the hotel
21:13the day after our first night I had a beer with highness I had sex with Jake I
21:17said
21:17how do you feel about that he said I don't know I said I don't know
21:23when we're in the mountains we straddled a big fallen tree
21:26I was happy it bothers me that you cut out american apparel advertisements and
21:32tape them to your bedroom on
21:35the night before the day that you like my post and I sector cut by the big
21:39fallen tree I took a walk with John
21:41the sky was for the stars we walked around the valley we got to a point
21:45the night was cool and thick we stopped and kissed it was nice
21:48when we got back to his room he took his shirt off and I took my shirt off
21:51weakest more
21:52i think im going to go I said amid the kind of excuse
21:55you don't have a sleepover he said we could just hold each other
21:59I went to my room and dyed my hair
22:03I don't like it when you say take care when I take my leave a VM
22:08you are writing a book called mine cock it is about your love affair with a
22:12phone sex operator among other things
22:14when you told me the story view and the phone sex operator I was moved
22:18appear at me about 50 pages if your novel humble monster
22:22and I told you it was a terrible novel I did not mean to say it like that
22:27explain some things that I did like about it some things I thought could be
22:30reworked
22:31and I said that I hope that you would write the story a few on the phone sex
22:34operator
22:35how good she was a cock sucking her shitty her life was
22:38her poverty fucked up family how she hated her body
22:41the love you shared I felt for her and you spoke about her with such
22:45elegant forthrightness the week after school ended and I was in Germany with
22:50seen on I got obsessed with
22:51Nazi architecture and started to read mine com online
22:55until I got blocked by the authorities
22:58I told you all about it in an email on August 30th and I feel that perhaps I'm
23:03somewhere and some small way a part of what has inspired you to write this book
23:08mine cock on the other hand I think your prose a sometimes shaky and following
23:13hitler's might not be the best idea
23:16I guess cock could stand for comp struggle which is pretty witty or could
23:20be but who knows where you're going to go with that
23:23it's really none of my business
23:26you told me the other night that you got yourself and found a boring YouTube
23:30video made by a high school kid with your name
23:32in the video he said his name he said and it was so weird
23:36somewhere in something that you sang to me that you had written this occurred
23:40something about you having no name or a name that might as well be no name at
23:44all
23:44are no identity and the dead generality of your childhood he'd woken up from
23:49I thought about my backup novel despair and Schumann
23:53was Schubert the doppelganger in any case I said how can you read so much in
23:57you cut me off and said
23:58know so little and I said no no how can you read so much while you're writing
24:02and not become
24:03to sue duced in every different direction to not betray what you're
24:07doing
24:08I do everything in spurts he said
24:12when I sent you the mp3 if he's a rebel by the crystals it was because I think
24:16you're a kind if rebel the kind I like
24:18the kind who is not afraid of what he wants and he lives in the confusion have
24:22it by reading
24:23I also sent it to make fun of me because I think your college memories and father
24:27complex are not really much to rail against
24:29I mean seriously in this world reliving and
24:34your arms are brown and have beautiful dude
24:38veins that you like I like your hands your eyes are blue but because they need
24:42so much like your pupils are always dilated and your eyelashes are nice
24:46you cannot cry but sometimes a whimper as though you were crying when you want
24:50to show that you were feeling something
24:52when you shave your beard your mouth is too big and I liked it
25:01up
25:04up
25:09somebody said that this poem was for your steak which never occurred to me
25:13like that never occurred to me is like dimension event
25:18and and then as soon as I heard that I thought that of call
25:21that's just dreadful like there's gotta be something more going on than just
25:25looking at some horror
25:27right I don't now I felt very sad about that and now I'm finally feeling
25:33like I'm reading this for years to come to just don't picture anything
25:39I'm picturing I love you my friend joe said action picture I love you in red
25:42thongs so I am
25:46I really am
25:49I for got all about how we hold hands so tired of your class but then I
25:53remembered you are writing to them about how much she missed her
25:56and couldn't wait to see her during this time I think Emma Bovary is named
26:01because if some notion that English Romanticism Jane Austen something like
26:04that
26:05amor is not a French name I don't remember Madame Bovary that well but i
26:09vetoed Renault
26:10discussed it in her seminar today toward the beginning of the novel
26:14done Charles over his first wife died and Hamas father invites the widower
26:19Charles to dinner
26:20and his father proposes that Charles cohabiting with him explaining that
26:25shooting a rabbit
26:26getting off a shot or something like that in part demands
26:30revision to the translation by Eleanor remarks might dissipate the tensions at
26:34his bereavement
26:35occurs it's not charles is feelings and his father cares about he just wants to
26:39get the transaction at his daughter's marriage
26:42over with anyway it's a nice name a man and the hosting a rabbit in order to
26:47relax enough to notice
26:48and nothing and how you call your I'm a bunny well
26:52I guess it's kind of a stretch but I thought if you to today I thank you that
26:55Vincent Gallo song honey bunny
26:58even though I knew it would make you think I've her once Abigail cuddly bunny
27:02in front view
27:03I guess cuz I made a face and my heart hurt cuz I knew
27:06the perforator got
27:16this is for Jeffrey ok
27:20I just remembered something occurs there is like a it's a pirate right
27:24like but it also sounds like our server
27:27like a horse right you're smiling
27:31you agree ok
27:35I worst I can remember I wrote this so long ago
27:37I can't remember if I was thinking pirate for hers
27:41and %um referring to align I haven't read yet and then if you know
27:44but i'm talking about. the perforator God
27:48a silver Corsair
27:52in a violent distance that I'm capable imagining
27:56inside ever World in which the cashier colored sky
27:59emits a mask snow is the zone in which I will lay down what's most harassed in me
28:05and make it die
28:06America love loaves and fishes the cracked
28:10for with its over fish thirsty
28:15take have a Bikram yoga classes afternoon
28:18mop
28:21the craft floor
28:26with its over fish the cookie colored face
28:31the black haired man whose purple cock to spread its last
28:34is asleep the face is asleep and it is attached to him as he is attached to the
28:39world
28:39I know that their pavilions among the lumpy mountains in which some night
28:45sit cross-legged in their mail into next and make light
28:48the blood-red sky it is cheering
28:51to look at pictures for the wide world slides down the pole would
28:56log for him and is not disclose
29:00does not disclose what I was sucking it for but a loser
29:04is still a loser a wind however does not love me just because I'm here
29:09send it lives in a purple that involves into being dead
29:13and a weather vane is a place in it this oatmeal shape Sky
29:17the lovely proportions have metaphors and bedtime stories written for children
29:21after world war two
29:22the strange mixture of fear and trust some shattered things
29:27still has been did buy something else mysterious her
29:30and further of an idea over the stars
29:34an idea a the world licorice drops
29:3910 the eye holes on a flesh wound blooms
29:42polyps and cancers iterative biker contemporary art
29:46the master the conquest
29:50my Yorker made a painting late and the 13th century in which I understand
29:54everything as though I were a serrated destruction
29:59or something perspicacious cut up folded in
30:03poked and soaked in Watford out
30:06I have a face like a sackbut that is not a style
30:10it is a font a form a foundation
30:13awkward and somewhat alive maybe I fell for this to Joe Haden and the letter
30:18by the letterhead and in the picture but it's been great I'll be uneven
30:23doesn't make me give anymore shit because I fell
30:26I fell for it they feel their thing and she is with a lion rampant
30:31the lion rampant has a ton the perfect correspondence cannot be
30:36cockle shell shaped cloud bud in the dark
30:39the people the vault but they're comforting abilities
30:43the beauty of indecision and the beauty of things that hurdle and I
30:47their access can attend shriveled into words that large themselves
30:52in a language distant and a little strange
30:55but not altogether unwelcome I will be born again is a bumblebee
31:00dried up and tried on the wooden floor
31:03the Cooper on a newly renovated Victorian house
31:07the contractors were sweet me up with the other dried at B's
31:10I guess everything that sucks tries out or something like that
31:13I can insert myself into something more invisible something smaller
31:18the jealous Richmond poets lonelier and more confused than ever
31:22and even more eager to verify their existences
31:26will also in the future and their crueler in deeper hurts recall the
31:29parity that my death is a bill once represented
31:32so long suckers Abreu committed construction workers flattened into
31:37paper carries me heavenward
31:39we were never women it means but nevertheless we managed to be poisoned
31:42by our thoughts and still do things all day
31:45mountain
31:51so how are you feeling like catatonic closer
31:56know too many smiles you're not asleep yet
31:59any questions everything's perfectly clear
32:03I guess
32:06okay great honey
32:10to really good quite see it this is
32:14this is one of my students I'm
32:17when one might well ask the poet
32:21while the cocksucking gray
32:25I'm I think
32:28I think that part of that like like one of the reasons why I began with them
32:34but that that old home with a condom and this whole
32:39thing is like a that somehow
32:43that somehow arm
32:48v objection an absurdity
32:52a relating to a penis that does not belong to one
32:57seems like I am seems like it needs to be taken out of the sphere
33:02love the pornographic and Mike like
33:06reinstated into a kind of polarity
33:09or I am small like
33:12quizzical oddity that I think it deserves
33:17because there's this kind of like false grander
33:20I'm that like with which one is meant to approach
33:24the the Holy item
33:30I at it and it it just seems like
33:34the more the more one plays with it if
33:38you well I'm assuming that it does not belong to one
33:43the in the more
33:46interesting things might become I don't know
33:50hey bank
33:53okay anybody else damn me
33:57I'm engaged
34:01no I want Marion
34:08mmm
34:09Marguerite Duras
34:13it is nothing to have a ruined face or something to keep a flask and observe a
34:17trembling
34:18nothing no not at all the pure hard word
34:22stiffening on-air a comment no its refuses on minutes a beard burrowing
34:26down along the healed
34:28if a note could have wintering as voices from another room gasping keep a lot of
34:33to the feeling up there and doing
34:35as a No could have wintering hardening the keenest at the end of a curl
34:39and sizing the impossible air a bled
34:42night its chilled glass with the moon in it voices from another room
34:46as assistive weighing and redress and a kinda from your
34:49and their at it harder and harder ramming a little bit of everything
34:53it is nothing to have a real and face because with it you can still coach
34:57over various artist and a black grass if there were any deeper to go
35:02some tambourine or other the desk would be
35:06or dulcet things Ammar suggest in Phila PA by
35:09a flamer a pan ruination that is general
35:13car is down my dirty herb don't go
35:16Assizes where me or bass controls and girders and then I
35:21environmentally sound having the white under things and Ricky Nigel's
35:25and instance widowed are perfect and there singularity
35:29is how it is as clear as I can be here
35:35is there more water furniture I'll
35:39and an in class assignment
35:43said the glass me it makes me presume that mr.
35:46I'm doing the wrong thing now see
35:50no no it's up
35:56this is why it's its people is to be rude because they realize that they
36:01don't have to pour the water into the class and then
36:05like I don't know we I just lost between
36:09it right but like the the dignity and
36:14and kind and through propriety have
36:18the situation can make when I'm find
36:21that one is always failing it right because
36:25but on the other hand without it then
36:28we would %uh probably tear each other apart I really mean
36:35air myrick she clasped
36:39the event to her and proceeded factor steaming I horn and it
36:42the cracked thing was a doomed page and it meant something
36:45yesterday a patient would be ideal make an art if it
36:49seer know it winding their way through an heir to have become the name of her
36:52going
36:53her name on the list and some certain information they had
36:56after time there's no more accuracy after a time you can't get the note
37:01clean
37:01what it might have been under the skirt mother ginger hotel
37:05little boys and girls a holiday shit stay in
37:08this collar leanest justifies those flights of fancy
37:11condemning him and the Grammy house words muzzle the char
37:15a kind incurred that will not do animal out could be a cousin's bone
37:20the poisoned nuance that started everything it was from eating ourselves
37:24it had to be someone else's sickness first our silence are good balance or
37:28usefulness
37:29there's something certain creatures long for to be hacked up and macerated
37:34that having come out and go into another body eaten
37:37jammed with Greece nerves whose low language ruined our bowels
37:42whose lowing eventually meant nothing weenie Rico we were to become
37:46arian a flash another nothing
38:06question
38:07save the world
38:11your music makes me feel lonely
38:17the music makes me feel and
38:21your music
38:24makes me incredibly incredibly lonely picking a lemon
38:31late at night my heart Titans
38:34I fear nature your music makes me feel lonely
38:42I must be responsible for it I'm alive I have this hair helmet on
38:47I'm so alive so
38:51I say yes to the megaplex he says it's awful isn't awful I say yeah
38:55so what
38:58something sentimental this place I agree a huge we're gonna go into the movie
39:02the elevator a brushed metal the first real thing as a result of the reality of
39:06this becomes this
39:07an origin if not the final one also occurs here and also only occurs here
39:12and now
39:12which is to say occurs here simultaneous to the first real thing
39:16which I am in knowing it the day
39:20is long enough the day is long enough the day is so
39:24long enough to contain all this and more I have achieved a socially adjusted
39:30state
39:31yes achieve walking and I'm capable of walking into the megaplex
39:36yeah needing not more than three or four minutes writing an abrasion
39:40via some faint I've completed something look at me I'm not retarded
39:44my caliber capable of moving to the world writing down a word its physical
39:48that minuscule
39:49an act there's a squeamishness desire to translate
39:54hygiene a translate something and go thing into something far
39:58it does not violate what I'm in it secretes me into it its secrets me
40:02into you what is going to occur no matter what what doesn't give a flying
40:06fuck
40:06the what needs me to fuel it like right now the megaplex
40:10that admits the day through a wall a picture windows
40:13they give onto a blank Green Park like right now
40:17right now right now I guess I'm okay now so
40:20right now I will buy a ticket yes and I will join my friends there are already
40:24in there
40:25I'll go buy my ticket I will c The Watchmen right now
40:29somebody a friend if somebody saw it and said it was good
40:32inside have each made
40:36saying a trap at least one
40:41I need those shoes describing the absence
40:45up a trap in like real-life amounts
40:49in a way to making art fuck you
40:54everything as form you a form you asshole you have for me fucking asshole
40:58this movie is about
41:03evil what this woman wants is love and respect
41:07she does not care that the world is ending
41:10and that the superhuman man is trying to save the evil world
41:14for humanitarian reasons he is not paying attention to her
41:18she wants love and respect she wants his thoughts
41:22this therefore indicates the women and
41:25the world right
41:30the trauma have something in her family that she carries and the way that trauma
41:34acts upon a romantic situation
41:37is that pattern or a force to which
41:40left obvious patterns which contribute to the end of the world
41:43move and moreover it is suggested that the less obvious
41:47patterns that flow through the world behavior
41:50Adams fact matter it is suggested
41:54these are consummated in the women's emotional drama
41:58in the justice her demands whose legitimacy is never questioned
42:02the particle physics that supposed to be profound or knowledge and the powers at
42:07the ultimate man
42:08are in the and under her control because she
42:11in the narrowness her demand stands for the logic
42:14if the human world it would be inhuman her not to want what she wants
42:19so what if the bitch cant act her emotions are supposed to be human
42:24because if this her rendition love them need not be convincing
42:28it's what her demonstrations point2 there's some
42:31they're supposed to be and order in human emotion
42:35this order is supposed to be understandable but inside and outside
42:38the movie
42:39though she is more comforting than it having as she does a reliable look
42:44exaggerated order abadi and hair
42:48whatever fucker but poems about movies fuck movie is about poetry fuck you
42:55in a disgusting scenes very long and very violent I cover my eyes
42:59my boyfriend watches my best friend watches I hit both have them for
43:02watching
43:04in and I guess what ended up being the big sex teen
43:09those responsible for the movie elected to play hallelujah by Leonard Cohen
43:15this team is really about this insane assassination at the song hallelujah by
43:20Leonard Cohen
43:24it seemed at first the song was chosen in order to murder the sex teen
43:28by Iran Ising the fucking but then it seemed that after all they wanted the
43:32fucking to look arousing
43:33but it was so long and revolting you know the boring girl the balding guy
43:38their public areas and a bagging s2 their faces in spite of this
43:41air breast feel so direct the thrust peevish middle-aged all trying so hard
43:47this therefore lead me to conclude that the scene was meant to destroy the song
43:52its emotions and what it means but hallelujah
43:55land your Leonard Cohen already performed a distance from
43:59even a kind of irony against itself and closing as it does a biblical grander
44:04within a cheesy atmosphere basically the Suns a lesson that under any violence
44:09sheen a soul or truth can move
44:12maybe you know what I mean a lot of people have covered this song and have
44:16rendered it more obviously beautiful it's not new but it's still around
44:22a cover my eyes and the violent scenes and cystic a violent scenes sex scenes
44:26blah blah blah
44:27pornography I don't wanna watch sometimes I watch when I do watch I hate
44:31myself for watching
44:33look just just
44:37tell me the story I don't
44:40need the luxury if its representation just tell it to me
44:45he is watching I hear the sound of the murder
44:48I know now his evil lusciously somebody scholars crashed or something
44:53he says geez
44:57I am evil every single movie the horror the horror the horror I can see that
45:02they intend to do this
45:03I can see that they think we deserve this we should be punished we must want
45:07but they're punishing us for wanting their giving it to us
45:10and they're definitely doing it in this way at such length in these colors
45:13because they mean to you it's clear to me
45:15their disgruntled in hollywood they're blaming us for what must be their grave
45:19disappointment in sorrow
45:21to have made so much and to be consigned to have to make so much more
45:25these killings take so long and the colors and the noises
45:29if there's a movie with killing it in 2050 the killing will have to be even
45:33bigger and longer what will they do
45:35maybe the for Modi something else will have to happen on a screen or maybe the
45:39screens will expire
45:41screens are part of the world there must be many varieties have bodies in ways to
45:45destroy them
45:46somehow the dust in this movie for gross and monotonous slaughter and mass death
45:50by disaster
45:51cannot be called a moral gesture despite the film's treatment ethical dilemmas
45:56we paid for this okay fine I understand
46:01movies are for murder in fact this can be the first time I've known this
46:05more people have sex then do murder maybe but
46:08it is the essence of way if there were not movie is how would we grasp the
46:13essence of life
46:14like porno you need not like it for it to succeed
46:19this is such a shitty part of town obviously we hate being here
46:22we just want to see this movie nobody made us come here
46:26maybe somewhere more discerning more intelligent people are going to see this
46:29movie and a charming and cosmopolitan locale
46:32we are not those people we are these people we did not build
46:36this part of town there's no part of town any town that we have built
46:40we don't build we want something with a better a static
46:43we have self-respect we don't have to go to the meta megaplex
46:47Starbucks is sometimes it happens we find herself in these places
46:51the kind of consumers who consume ideal some of which have farm I love which
46:56nevermind there's nothing around here I want coffee
47:01he starts to talk about what Starbucks means and represents this brief
47:04operation
47:05his talking which resembles and part analysis appears to comfort him
47:09I don't know perverse to attempt vigilance in this crime it
47:13a little thought I had to myself a little i'd have to myself
47:17not going there every day for getting it on purpose something massive and
47:20negating
47:21it can consume me without my going there by being
47:24there for me whenever I want to go there someday
47:27even if I never want to go there somehow I will find myself there
47:33little me not low enough
47:36yeah other where Spain's
47:39I belong to this it's built it has me I'm alive I must be fed if not today
47:43then tomorrow
47:45it is structures and allowed to move through in me a carry me
47:48in me at intervals I have to pay money and I do
47:52I do pay it I pay I do pay I pay
47:55and I get understandable
47:59okay so the kind of studious nabashi one has a nightmare embracing the women and
48:03nuclear devastation happening at the same time
48:06that's meant to signify something about love rate no fucking Dada
48:10there's the actors what's her name it after the dream now she's tidy and
48:14there's her mall familiar by now but not terming
48:16I'm pretty sure her face is regularity supposed to be comforting and getting
48:20the feeling
48:21the fact that she the woman is coherent and her outfit is on right indicates
48:25there's hope for humanity
48:29the 20th century save the world
48:33save the world save the world the 20th century save the world
48:38anything can pass before the eyes of a person
48:42no no I get it woman is natural she is natural but not savage
48:46she is in order she is right and wrong right there in her body
48:49all origins are atrocious right so hers are
48:53even if daddy did not rate mommy fucking is best deal and violent is the lesson
48:58the lesson is what is produced can be a reversal
49:01the wrong where she begins doesn't force her to be evil
49:04everybody in this movie is somewhat evil but not her
49:08she's normal 0
49:12poet I can live without you person watching a shitty movie
49:17their ideas oh yeah her stuff is so fresh compared to compared to
49:22her stuff is really fresh air compared to you know care for the world saving
49:26the world
49:27is this not perverse there's an order the world the power what are we what is
49:30our care how can I look at you
49:32but I do
49:39poetry is not native words
49:43I find the words treat abhorrent and the Google browser via computer
49:47to be mean to type 2 I did not ask you I said you jack off he said now
49:54I remember in the morning you're in the tub reading the wasteland
49:57and then I left you type retired pa rin ang Google so maybe
50:01I don't know
50:05my heart is pounding in my throat
50:09when I saw free tab bar in my heart
50:12I put your computer to sleep I smoked a cigarette
50:16nothing makes my heart beat nothing makes my heart beat
50:19nothing makes my heart beat like free tub porn
50:24it kills me the way the music is hard now I'm evil
50:29I'm mega mega raids you have this
50:32power I'm in a weight room
50:35standing on a gold we'll the Scorpion as alongside the bull
50:39I began to sing and you hear me
50:42now I S up a pure scorer waste with gravel us when your blood that your head
50:46and make my better meet dinner
50:48but that II squirts out down my throat
50:51a mastodon shivers i fisted to death and better than you
50:55no I'm not and better than you I'm not the year
50:59I did it too and better than you I will do it to them now you see me
51:03why did they have to keep on making porno the most impersonal
51:07art in the world because I am it
51:10and admissions on something slick and hard but sharp little filaments and
51:15everything that is passed passes into me you think you can see me
51:18through what you see and make love to me I can see you
51:22I can see into you I'm final
51:26I love you because at the end of the world
51:31what's the difference go away it's only forms a woman writing poems produces the
51:36same effect
51:36accounts because the temperature flash on you and how that screens me from a
51:40horrible and temperatures somebody else's like other music extracting a
51:44feel
51:44it certain bodies in certain arrangements call descriptors justify
51:48it looks like the end of the world when I look at you look RA
51:52unless you're in the movie you're not in the movie
51:55unless you're in the movie you are not in the movie
51:59culture will have her girls look at me think I've me lick my pussy when you
52:03look in my face
52:03and rinsed this is fucking I know it also you can just say fuck
52:09hard death I guess
52:12look at me I'm in line with the natural order
52:15and her rings in my mind are in lot are aligned
52:18with this order I'm
52:22in line with the natural order and the harangues in my mind are aligned
52:27with this order venturing into the Sun to smoke
52:30I am proof have nature and all its declarations
52:34I verify express its clarity without speaking are trying I all to me it
52:39all if its history when i sleep it is enclosed
52:42in hot nights nature if I shutter its before nature's screens
52:47when I kill myself I do so inside the mind of nature
52:50my legs transport the ideals of nature enclosed in my body disclosed when i'ma
52:56hit
52:56the secret features my familiars inside of nature and passing away
53:01the fart upon the round world
53:04describe themselves up on me and it is through this mash
53:08a faults that I see in that I see that I see that I C
53:12it is only through the fault earth that I see
53:15that I see Tracy
53:19I cover my body in creams and Chad the pads open to me
53:23my mind teams with things of this world
53:26they were months long ago during which I attempted to erect
53:30a study evil I ate I admit
53:33mainly cruelty free meals that was then
53:37now presuming myself exterior to nothing
53:40I enjoin you see me siempre mio steamy
53:44deep in the heart nature see me see me
53:48see me try to pick a scab of the world
53:57question concern
54:01yeah ok there's one here and then and then they're
54:06me
54:09I can answer that but that's an excellent question
54:12I think that I think that maybe if
54:15we were to meditate in silent together about that
54:19for sometime maybe we could talk about it
54:22to see you and me yeah
54:29sure am
54:32so Chris so it is real a the
54:35translation project that on I'm doing
54:40I'm she was a prostitute
54:45in Switzerland which is like I i mean i I always enjoy it very much telling
54:50people
54:51about a prostitute in Switzerland because it I find that at least
54:55Americans think I've switzerland is not a sexy kind of place
54:58it doesn't and any anyway I M
55:02that's neither here nor there and I apologize this with
55:06not to say that they Wed
55:09feel insulted but nevermind I'm
55:12Chris elite is real was and a prostitute
55:16and I think that she didn't start working as a prostitute until she was in
55:20her thirties and already had two children
55:22and she just found that she was am very good at it and
55:26unable to make I at a better living
55:30after a a period of illness in a hospital
55:33um so she um
55:36so she raised her children and she her politics we're
55:40were very interesting she had a sliding scale I
55:44and and was a very active um
55:48anarchist and organizer I
55:51and one of the ways that her organizing function with
55:55am at sex workers rights but also
55:59I'm December reproductive rights in Switzerland
56:02and I am so she was some
56:06there is this period I guess when are the sociologist sociologists want wanted
56:11to talk with her
56:12because she had this I'm broad experience have
56:15I've sexuality ok o'clock across some class boundaries
56:19and I am and it that did
56:22the gender thing with raise rather fixed from what I've read her experiences but
56:27I'm but she had she had the fam very interesting
56:31view I love and through different cultural and class way is that
56:36um that menthe sexuality
56:40I'm performed itself for the ways that it
56:43was kind of suffering I
56:46in the Switzerland have heard a am I think that the book that I am doing
56:50covers like the seventies and eighties
56:52on anyway all this to say:
56:55on I don't like ask for the job it was like handed to me
56:59so I wasn't a gun enthusiast or something I learned about her
57:03I am from the project and the main the
57:06that through poetry part the project is on her little black book
57:10which is am her listed most regular clients
57:14am usually with three or four lines and very picky and sometimes hilarious
57:18I am a assertive
57:22I guess they're like annotations are no it's for for hers
57:25to help you remember what they arm do and need
57:28and like and don't like and how much to charge them of course
57:32and wanted the things that I enjoy most about
57:35that little black book is that each an entry and with the price
57:39which is an intriguing like proposal for lines and poetry
57:43like you know if you could put a price on each line
57:47I don't know I'm in any case
57:51and it turns out that she is like deeply compassionate
57:54and that her that she does her work
57:57a for that the rejects and malformed
58:02monsters have her world and
58:05it soared over Old Testament or something
58:09that come along and tear I'm
58:14maybe we should just go to this reception read one more thing
58:19r8 I guess that was that as I can and on a
58:24on a him
58:43there's some undead kind incurred a leon occurs but occurs to me that like maybe
58:47his my subject like
58:50maybe it's all there
58:54you no
58:57the baby maybe somehow
59:00maybe somehow his like the big other
59:04or something maybe there's some kinda more like on the in way that heareth
59:07nevermind
59:16Richard the Lionheart it was born in 1157 in Oxford where you're nice
59:21girlfriend
59:22or ex girlfriend went to college like most of the royal family at the time
59:27richard was essentially French says Wikipedia the word essentially
59:32is curious strong Richard grew up in France and according to the Middle Ages
59:37dotnet
59:38spend only six months and his 10-year reign in England
59:42claiming it was cold and always raining
59:45their your girl is British and I'm American though it is possible that I am
59:52essentially French Richard
59:55was called the line heard it for his military exploits
59:58he was also very tall it does not seem
60:01unfair to note here that he wrote poetry he never learned English
60:06some sources suggest it was a desire to be memorialized in verse
60:12by troubadours that attracted him to the Crusades
60:15others speak a deep spiritual need
60:18now remembered if at all as the Crusader held for ransom
60:23the absent father figure in a Disney Robin Hood cartoon
60:27the historical richard was no friend of the Jews even before he took up the
60:31cross
60:32quote when a rumor spread that Richard
60:36had ordered all jews to be killed the people love London began a massacre
60:40many Jews were beaten to death robbed and burned alive
60:44many Jewish homes were burned down and several Jews were forcibly baptized
60:48some sought sanctuary in the Tower of London
60:51and others managed to escape and current
60:55when I was reading your email account I noticed
60:58a curious motif a certain derision about jews especially female ones and your
61:03messages to Emma
61:05I thought it was cute though the way she called the rabbi since you teach at a
61:08yeshiva and everything
61:10when we're lucky enough to be in Venice together
61:13me because of my Stafford Loan a new because if your skill trading stocks and
61:17commodities
61:18I may be because have the backing up your family I don't know
61:22I enjoyed the things you said about Palladio and the Renaissance
61:25even though orderly experiments with perspective aren't my thing
61:29I'm more into Paulo cello the ghetto et cetera
61:33I told you about the Redstone the Strasbourg Cathedral
61:37and that I feel heat from gothic buildings that feels so human
61:42like geometry and plant fact each other and went insane
61:47maybe this is why you commie agarre whatever
61:51when a person goes far away to an old place
61:55a person is trying to feel something about a world be impossible
61:59it is easier to fall in love far away from everything
62:02familiar as I write this there is still a planet
62:06you have a daddy complex and I have a mommy complex
62:10we do not want to fuck the venous vigeland or
62:13you were into saying that I have an obscene smile
62:17the morning after our first night you told me my pussy smells good like Swiss
62:21cheese
62:22that grossed me out but then we talked about the strange carnality
62:28she's fermented things how they're more unsettling leanna more somehow than
62:33animal flesh
62:34in Venice at band a cigarette from a cute italian girl and I watched you put
62:39your fork
62:40into an assortment cheeses I tasted one and it was so strong I thought
62:45at feet there is wine you paid for most but not all of it
62:50that fancy quince paste olives to you how could I forget
62:53the moon is very big I felt tired and exposed
62:58but brave we both said it was good thanks
63:21so like she said there's a reception down the hall with
63:23wine and food and you can keep asking her questions and talk to each other to
63:28thank you for coming